Everchanging Seasons: PART 1

So,

I was asked to blog my story of, "how my passion for Worship/music became an everyday reality".

At first I thought, "really? why would anyone want to read that?" But then I came to realize what a word of encouragement God has blessed me with as I step into this new season. I started off writing, or in my case its more like talking through my fingers, with a "pep in my step" that faded into an icky gut feeling.

You know, that feeling you get when God is saying..."uh uh. That's not all of it." And of course being the woman focused on doing the Lord's will, I kept on writing about my music career.

I wrote the WHOLE blog post. Even went so far as to e-mail it to my mother, who you will often see / hear me refer to as "momager" (you will later read why) to edit and check it . Then when I got her feed back, with some good hooks to keep you coming back to read more;)

I realized what I didn't want to let myself listen to.

I was leaving out SO much of my heart and story and the amazing work that God has done in my life by simply telling of ONLY my music testimony...I promise i heard "duh duh duuuuhhh" in the background. "God I really have to tell my WHOLE testimony...All of it?...REALLY?".....

...Please pause for a moment of pouting...

So here I am... Blogging about it. Blogging about ALL of it.

Let me start off by saying that my mother aka "momager" is my best friend and my hero.

Her testimony of mistakes and healing serve as an inspiration and encouragement to everyone.

I love you mom and I am FOREVER grateful for you.

My mother conceived me when she was 19. She married my father and boy was that a "season" for her. He cheated on her while she was pregnant, and if that was not enough, was a habitual liar. They went to counseling to try to make it work. He lied so much he evidently couldn't keep all his lies in check and the counselor caught on.

We only lived with my dad until I was four weeks old but here is how those four weeks went:

I have REALLY bad acid reflux, which back in the day, they called colic. So I screamed from dinner time until mom could get me to sleep until I was probably a year old. My dad got to the point that if he got mad at mom he would take it out on me by doing something to wake me up and upon waking up I'd scream for hours...again. After he started doing that to me and fearful that he would only get worse, she left and divorced him.

His parents and sister wanted to be a part of my life so my mom allowed them to pick me up for the day to spend time with me. She even let them pick me up on Christmas morning. They decided, a day wasn't long enough and took my mom to court. His parents lied and said that "she was keeping me from them" and the court ruled in their favor. They got me one entire weekend a month.

Her reasons for me not staying over night were:

one- I was an infant(hello?)

two- I cried if I wasn't at home at night.

So when I came home from their house, I came home with a rash from crying so much.

When she left him we moved in with my mom's parents and lived with them until I was two or three( which was JUST enough time to turn me into a heathen;)) In that time, mom finished her degree, got a teaching job, and moved us to that town(which is like 45minutes from all of her family).

For seven years it was just me and mom.

(Of course I saw my grandparents all the time and I was still going to my dad's parents house once a month) The point I am trying to make is that mom was 24, owned her own house, had a steady career, AND was a single mother...I cannot see myself there in four years. CRAZY.

I'm not sure how old I was when my mom met and started dating Lyle. When they got engaged I asked him if I could call him daddy. They got married when I was almost seven.

I was in line to go to the bath room in 3rd grade when daddy walked in to pick me up to take me to the hospital. THAT was a sight. I ran out of line and JUMPED into his arms and did one of those "climb up the person in front of you back flips". Poor guy, I was just SO excited to be a big sister. Cole is my polar opposite and it is hysterical=)

I accepted Christ into my heart when I was nine but it wasn't for a little bit that I truly took off running into His arms.

In March of 2000 my world changed, and my life is a true testimony of "what people can do for bad God can turn to good"....